Lovers' Guide

Although capitalism equals unpretty, I thought I ought to point out that the film I reviewed last month, The Lovers' Guide 3D: Igniting Desire, is out today. It apparently made 18, according to Amazon, and if you're unsure about whether to buy it or not, read my review.

Right, now that's done...

I know someone else who needs a lovers' guide.

I've been talking to this girl for a few weeks. She's French. She's an au pair looking after two children. She likes clothes, shopping, horse riding and other things that stereotypical girls like. But critically, she also likes reading, quiet, romantic walks and relaxing. And Camden. And going to the cinema (we both want to see Black Swan). And Natalie Portman. These are all things I like, although I have to admit that, were it not for Star Wars, I wouldn't know who Natalie Portman was. Nevertheless, these are all things that still stand. Perhaps more critically, she lives about 20 minutes away from me. Walking time. Ten, maybe, if we met half way.

And she is charmante. But she's also very shy. Then again, so am I.

So, not long out of a realtionship and not sure if I should be crushing on anyone particularly, I decided to chat to her. She was a tough nut to crack, but eventually I got her on Facebook and then she added me to MSN. And then finally I got her phone number (+10 Geek Points for also having a BlackBerry). After a couple of weeks, I decided that I'd want to get to know her. Going out for a drink couldn't hurt. But then again, I've never successfully asked anyone out. So I'd no idea how to do it. So I asked, and she said that she wasn't sure, because she was shy. But it wasn't a no, so that was a good start.

A week later, I asked her again. She was busy at the time, but to her credit, she didn't say no. I left it in her hands.

Yesterday, she sent me some pictures of herself. One of which showed her in some new underwear. I think she was trying to show off the clothes she'd bought, but you are well aware of the fact that you've sent a picture of yourself mostly naked if that is indeed what you have sent. She originally think that because I didn't respond, I didn't like them. The truth was that I did like them - I like her and I liked the clothes. I got back to her and confirmed that I did like them, but I was away so didn't respond immediately. That is also the truth.

Anyway, so we got chatting on MSN and, after the obligatory "you're not fat, you're just curvy and feminine and anyway, I think you're sexy" conversation (also true!), she said she was bored, and so I asked her for a drink, quickly confirming via the wonder of Google that all the local coffee shops closed at 6:30 and then the pubs at about 10 (I wasn't sure about Sunday opening). She, again, said she wasn't sure, so I flirted a bit and she did eventually confirm that, although she was shy, she did want to date me. That's a yes in my book, and eventually, I got a yes. We were going for a drink! Although she did want to shower first, and accordingly I shaved and washed my hair and put on a nice enough shirt. I thought I looked OK. Which made her laugh.

So I asked her when and where, expecting to meet about 5 or 6 and then have a drink and see what happened. But I didn't get a response at all. No MSN, no Facebook, no text, no BBM. 47's girlfriend, via IRC, told me that this is what girls do. 40 minutes for a shower, 20 minutes drying, 30 drying hair, followed by powder, a change of clothes, another change of clothes, makeup, jewellery... and I thought I took ages to get washed. I'm pretty sure the French girl didn't take this long. But it hit 8pm and I started to get worried and fired off a text. 9pm and I decided that it wasn't going to happen.

I turned off my computer and my mother, interfering busybody that she is, suggested I send her a messgae via Facebook, something along the lines of, "hey, sorry we didn't get to do it, maybe see you some other time, lol!". I used my mother's laptop - because it was still on - to access Facebook and, lo and behold, there she was! Speed of light activated, open messenger, say bon soir!
She said hi back. It turned out that, so she claims (and I believe her), her mother called her and, of course, she is in France, so there's not a lot of conversation overall - an hour or so may be customary - and then her best friend, to discuss her weekend away to (you guessed it) France. Next weekend. But just for a weekend; she's coming back, evidently. Part of me secretly thought that she could have at least given me some indication that she wouldn't be available to go for a drink with me, but I can overlook that.

What I can't overlook is the fact that I've been trying to ask her out for about three weeks and then the one day she eventually says yes, her mother calls! Inconvenient, or what? And then again, what is the 'what'? And, me being me, a large part of me spouts the Americanism, "she's not that into you". But we haven't even met yet - so how could she know? Ay me.

And so I went to bed very confused and a little sad...

...but safe in the knowledge that she has very good taste in underwear.