Thursday, June 4, 2009

I'm a good boy, I am.

So, if you've read Lace Stockings recently you'll have noticed that she has been sent some new lubricating products from Durex to try out and review. The same has happened to me (and - just for the record - I got mine sent out he day before LS did. She's almost certainly going to write a better review than I ever could, but at least I got them FIRST).

It only occurred to my mother to ask what was in my package yesterday.

Mother: "What was your package?"
ILB: "A book. I bought it for [TD], because I thought she'd like it."

I managed to do this conversation without telling a single lie. And this is how I did it.

Mother: "What was in your package?"

[A simple question.]

ILB: "A book..."

[What my mother doesn't know is that I have, in fact, changed the subject without answering the question beforehand. This may sound like an answer, but I have not actually supplied said answer. This phrase is actually a preposition to the next clause:]

ILB: "...
I bought it for [TD], because I thought she'd like it."

[This is true. In fact, I did buy it for those reasons. She was there at the time, but this doesn't negate the fact that I bought the aforementioned book.]

So, using clever semantics I managed to steer the conversation in an entirely different direction and therefore didn't have to answer my mother's question, truthfully or not. So I still told the 100% truth; ergo, I'm a good boy. And that, dear readers, may well be the truth.

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