Soft Porn Sunday: Shannan Leigh & David Usher

As some of you may know, I'm not averse to a little acting, including playing Robin Hood at various points, and recently I've been involved with the production of a conceptual net-based game show similar to Knightmare, set in a mediaeval-style underground world. As well as doing some of the writing, I acted in the pilot. I have, however, just found out that, despite auditioning twice, I haven't been cast. So, in acknowledgement of my total failure, here's a Soft Porn Sunday with a somewhat mediaeval bent.

Appearance: Virgins of Sherwood Forest (2000)
Characters: Serena & Horatio

Okay, I'll admit it: I love Virgins of Sherwood Forest. It's incredibly cheesy and doesn't work as an adventure film, a comedy film, or a Robin Hood film. But it works well as a concept, and it also works incredibly well as a softcore film, managing to pack eight sex scenes into one and a half hours using a plot that's not exactly too flimsy. It does have the typical cop-out "it was all a dream" ending, but then again, that's also an act of mercy after it seems like there's no way out of the scenario they place themselves in.

The acting's pretty decent too - I mean, it's not great, but Dave Roth (who plays Robin Hood, in addition to a rock star, Alvin, in the "prologue" set in modern times) is a fairly credible actor, and makes for a likeable Robin. Gabriella Hall is okay, Amber Newman is good enough too, and the viceroy (who doesn't have any sex, as he is an old man) - played by Burke Morgan, who is roughly the same age as my dad - is a very credible performance. John Lopez' Friar Tuck is genuinely funny as well, if you can get past the American accent.

But the real shining star of this film is Shannan Leigh. Like everyone else, she plays dual roles - a wimpy assistant director with huge glasses named Nina in the "prologue", and Serena in the main film. Insofar as the plot goes to explain, the Sheriff of Nottingham has been finally defeated by Robin and his band of Merry Men (which, thankfully, the film gets a bit right - including Little John, Tuck and Alan Dale - and an odd one named Co-Chon, who they could have named Will Scarlett or Merry Andrew, but never mind), leaving the Viceroy in charge of Nottingham Castle. In comes Serena - the Sheriff's evil, horny, large-breasted sister - who quickly assumes the post of Sheriff. And evil she is - playing the part with a casual ease. A genuine form of malevolence, she is scheming, devious, calm and cunning. Her first sex scene happens shortly after her first appearance, and it is - without question - my favourite scene. Ever.

I'm not sure I can exactly do justice to this, but I'll try, in list form, to explain why I like this:-

- Plot. After ascertaining who Serena is, the viceroy leaves to clean out the Master Bedroom. A background servant prepares to leave, too, but Serena seductively commands him to stay. He reveals his name is Horatio, and Serena replies with, "Charmed. You know - I've had a long ride. Would you mind...?", offering him her foot. Evidently, his job is to give her a foot massage, which he does, before they get a bit carried away. I like this because it's a bit of harmless banter, and it gives a reason for the sex.
- Characters. I've already talked about how good Shannan Leigh is, but she is incredibly good at this. And, even though David Usher's only job in this film is to have sex (twice), he does well too. Both are attractive (Leigh staying hot throughout), and even the costumes are good. Okay, so I'm not at all happy with Serena's costume having a zip. But Horatio's is genuine mediaeval garb - slacks, loose top, sash - which adds a nice touch. It's a pity not all the costumes are like that.
- Setting. Awesome. This happens on a balcony of Nottingham Castle. Yes, it's not the real Nottingham Castle (I lived there for three years... Nottingham, not the Castle), but the setting is good, and there are huge panoramic views of forests and hills behind them. It's not necessary, but it's a very nice touch - and they make good use of the backdrop too, Serena at one point leaning up against a barrier while Horatio licks her.
- Music. Absolutely phenomenal - not because it's much good, but because it genuinely fits. It really does. Every time there's a change of perspective, or action, the music adapts to suit it swiftly.

So, we get foot massage, undressing, licking, kisses, and then sex. The first bit happens with Serena holding onto the balcony with one hand, having sex while standing up as Horatio supports her. And that's hot. But the second position is even hotter. After more kissing, they turn around. Serena places her hands on a table (causing the objects on the table to fall off, another nice touch), and steadies herself as Horatio enters her from behind, his foot on a chair for support.

This is the best few seconds of a scene I can think of. The thrusting movement of Horatio, the way the music works to time sforzando notes with every pelvic thrust, the looks on their faces (especially Serena's with the way she opens her mouth and the look in her eyes), the camera angle and the sense that they are reaching climax... it all works. It works in a way that very few scenes do. And there is a very definite climax too, with a massive thrust from Horatio, at which Serena bends her arms, and it is very definitely all over.

Serena has sex twice more in this film, but whatever position she's in, she always manages to assert her authority, which can't be easy - she even sleeps with Robin at one point, but something about Shannan Leigh's actions make it seem as if she is the one essentially in control, and that's very sexy - confident, assertive lady. But it's this first scene, with the servant over the table on the balcony, which really make the film for me - because it just contains all the elements that make it an exemplary sex scene. One of the best, ever.

If you want to watch it, I recommend seeking out the whole film (I bought it on DVD, which is a bit extreme; maybe you can rent, stream or torrent it) as there aren't any version of this one scene online that really do it justice - you need the context and while thing to really enjoy it to the full. Serena is, after all. Plus, you get seven other scenes too!