Coming out

I like the look of girls lying on their side in grass. Uh, the stuff that grows on a lawn, that is, not the dodgy kind. A girl lying on a bed of weed sounds a bit too much like the bastard child of American Beauty and Ali G Indahouse. I'm talking about lying on standard grass. On their side.

Um.

I'm not doing very well at explaining this, am I? Well, Summer Strallen - who I've decided is actually pretty attractive for someone who's actually had to resort to being in Hollyoaks - starred in the London production of The Sound of Music a few years back; thus, I was beseiged - during commutes - to a poster of her in costume with the caption "Summer comes early!" (which, alas, I can't find a picture of, although anyone who's about to sleep with her, take note...). On a similar vein, Nelly Furtado's first album - before she decided to be all slutty - featured a similar picture.

So why is it that it's an attractive image?

Well, first of all, I think it's something to do with the relaxed look and feel of the whole thing. I mean, it's pretty clear that, if you do in fact have the time to lie on your side and look into a camera between blades of grass, you're likely to also have the time to chill out for a bit. You're already lying on some grass, which suggests that it's sunny, so it's the perfect time to do so. But enough of that, we know what it's really about. It's about having sex outside, and despite what I may have inferred, I'm not aiming to do that with either Nelly Furtado or Summer Strallen.

Lying in the grass on your side may well be fun, but what about lying on your side naked? In the grass? Outside? With the sun beating down on you? And here's the essential part... what about me behind you, also on my side, with my cock buried between your thighs, making love to you? Doesn't that sound appealing?

It does to me, anyway. I've never had sex outside, on the grass, in summer. And the worst part of realising this fact is the simultaneous realisation that my parents' house has an extremely big garden, and I've just had a week of playing house with my lovely girlfriend while my parents - nay, my entire family - have been away, leaving us on our own.

Not that we didn't have sex. We did. Rather a lot. On the living room floor. On my bed. Numerous times. She made a lot of noise; I made a lot of mess. We used buzzing cock rings. I used my tongue a lot. We got to walk around naked if we wanted to. What's more, we could have sex if we wanted to. We didn't have to be sneaky - we just could, so we did. But one thing we didn't so, due to the inclement weather, was have sex al fresco. The rain, the dew and the general mugginess of the whole situation made that an option that wasn't so appealing. The hot summer that was threatening to break upon London earlier in the year was over before we got to take full advantage of the situation. Damn you, British weather.

So there we have it - a new sexual fantasy - no, sexual ambition. Because this one's achievable. Not exactly easy to do, but if we get another spell of hot, dry weather and an afternoon where we have a garden available with no parental observation - well, who knows, eh? We may get lucky after all!

Roll on, Indian summer - and let the sexperimentation recommence!