Durex are always welcome into my life and I am feeling particularly well-disposed towards them at the moment on account of the fact that I used their products to induce multiple orgasm yesterday (on her, not me... my orgasms came later through sexual intercourse. Horses for courses, and all that...). That, and the fact that they offered me the chance to try their new 'idea'. I'll put the logo up soon.
Told you it would be soon.
The schtick of Pick & Licks (yes, it's actually called that) is that you choose five lubes or condoms (although, sadly, not vibes, it seems - although they are expensive), send the form to Durex and they send these back to you (yes, that's actually how it works). In fact, that's a system, it seems, designed to bring back happy memories of Woolworths and using their pick-and-mix section to buy unreasonably cheap sweets. (4p was my record, if I remember correctly.)
I await my striped bag with anticipation, as if I don't have enough Durex stuff already...
...okay, now I must go to my bed. There is a naked girl wearing a pair of kitty ears in it. I'm sure you understand.
LADY BUYS CORSET
Dateline London, or possibly Oxford: A lady was seen buying a corset today, stating that despite its recommended retail price being £200, she needed only pay £50 (British Sterling) to obtain this item, using a 
cunning technique known as "sale shopping". Miss T Drinker, 23, a seamstress from Oxford, was heard stating: "Do you remember the corset I wore last time? Well, this one makes me look two inches thinner than that one. I felt very sexy."
The effects of this staggering discovery were felt as far as North London, where residents were stunned to find out what had happened. Mr I Loverboy, 24, a blogger from London (but he won't say where), said, "You're turning me on just making me think about it." Upon being interviewed by our staff, Loverboy added, "I have a picture of her wearing the old corset, and that works for me, so who knows what this one will do?"
Mr Loverboy's mobile telephone has gone in for repairs after being deemed too clogged with a liquid substance, possibly sweat, to be fit for continued use.
Told you it would be soon.
